Wednesday, August 22, 2012

STRUGGLE

I'm struggling.  I'm struggling with writing a post of thoughts that are not related in any way to knitting.  So, will my knitting blog turn into a something else?  On one hand, it's just as well.  I haven't blogged anything knit for months.  As a matter of fact, I haven't even knitted anything for almost a year.  With that said, should I just blog about something? Anything?  Turn this blog into a journal?  If it becomes a journal, it will need to be a little more private.

I think I'll just use this post to type random thoughts.  I was driving to work this morning and I had all these thoughts in my head.  Most of them were of my weight.  I've struggled with my weight ever since I graduated college.  When I was younger, I was a bean pole.  I didn't even think I'd ever have a problem with my weight.  However, when I was in high school, I did start to think about it.  I'm blonde haired, blue eyed, so I thought to myself, I don't want to be one of those "hefty" blondes.  But guess what....I am.  Ever since I've had children, just two, I've struggled with my weight creeping up.  I think about it all the time, I try to exercise.  I begin, get on a kick, then something will happen and my kick gets interrupted.  I've began watching what I eat.  Well, you know how that goes.  I do well for a while and then I get off track.  It's a vicious cycle.  Then, I find myself obsessing about it in thought constantly.  I find people around me obsessing about their own weight and eating habits.  It's freaking exhausting!  I have to admit, I have never had that "wonderful" feeling after working out that makes me want to do more.  I hurt.  I hurt all over.  Every joint in my body becomes stiff, stiffer the more I do.  I thought it was supposed to get easier.  It does not.  I get off track and have to start all over.  Even then the results are slow going.  I hear they should be, but it's EXHAUSTING working for results and none show!

Ok, with all that said, I've been trying to prepare for my daughter's wedding.  I began eight months ago to lose ? lbs.  Not going to happen.  I WAS doing fairly well.  I was beginning to see results, but then stuff got in the way.  Summer came.  Not to mention the things that go on with your "system" that puts a kink in things.  Now, I am beginning again.  It's a slow process.  I have to prepare mentally.  Then begin the physical activity.  I have no energy or motivation.  You'd think the upcoming event itself would be motivation enough.  Nope.  It's not.  I need magic.  I've never had motivation in the weight loss department.  I used to be able to skip meals and lose.  Where does motivation come from?  I know if I don't get at it diabetes will be in my future.  I am approaching 50.  I have thoughts of wanting to become fit and svelt.  Maybe take up cycling.  But the motivation to do so, it's just not there.  I work full time and take a class every semester.  It's like the motivation is in my head but won't work with the rest of me.  I plan it in my head.  Nothing happens.  I get home, I'm beat.  Too tired.

Actually, I'm just tired fighting it too.  I think that's it!  I get tired of thinking and obsessing about it knowing I should do better.  You know, if there were a way to lose weight by just worrying and obsessing over it, I'd be as skinny as a bean pole.

....it's exhausting.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

CREATIVE REWARDS

I entered a contest a month ago. Entry involved creating a board on Polyvore. Of course it had a theme. I figured I would try it. I don't get a lot of opportunity to create much since I changed my position at work about a year and a half ago. I miss having outlets for my creativity like creating brochures, websites, and handouts. Well it paid off! I won the contest! Talk about doing a happy dance! I was so ecstatic! ...my prize finally arrived! Talk about joy!

The prize is a knitting bag from Jordana Paige.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

SORE LOSERS!

. . . Just sayin'

Sunday, March 11, 2012

NOLA SWAG!

Amidst the sea of blue that had descended upon New Orleans' French Quarter, I happened upon an unexpected gem! A yarn shop! After visiting the Cafe Du Monde for some famous coffee and beignets and subsequently spilling the coffee on my new WHITE UK t-shirt, my love and I headed back to our hotel to change, we happened upon the gem, The Quarter Stitch Needlepoint shop! Made my day!!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

SAROYAN

I've been knitting! I've knit two scarves from the Saroyan pattern by Liz Abinante. I used 100% super wash Merino-worsted 280 yds 4 ply 4 oz by Yarn Daze in Mallard. I used size 4 needles. LOVELY! The pattern and yarn were really nice to work with! I had the pattern before I got the yarn. A friend and I went to the Greencastle fiber event last year and I found the yarn. It was fun! Now...what should I knit next? I have more yarn that I bought at the same event.